The demons that possessed my Cat have now moved over to my Dog. I need a Pet Exorcism.

My dog and cat really cannot stand each other, but the truthis they share that one special bond in common. They both are possessed bythe Devil. I think that they get it from the groomer

Posted by email from jontalbert's posterous

19 Great Dane Puppies? Insanity!!

Saw this in the paper and had to laugh. This families dog had 21 great dane pups (19 lived, 2 still born). This is crazy!! We have a great dane... she's around 165 pounds... seriously, its like having a circus animal in your house... like a small show horse, or a baby hippo... having a large dog is not normal. Most people see my dog (Madison) and say something dorky like... "that's a horse!... you can get a saddle and ride it!"

Then they look at you like you've never heard that before (note: dane owners know what I'm talking about cuz we hear it all the time)... you give a smile and walk away thinking "hhhmmm, I've never heard that one... moron!" One time I was walking my dane and become so annoyed at people saying the dorky-"is that a horse?"-line that I said to one lady who asked me what kind of dog I had... "its a chihuahua, we just had a bad breeder!" At which she quietly turned to her friend and gullibly said "its a chihuahua... they had a bad breeder". I think she was drinking... but it's now my standard come-back to moron questions.

Some people tell me they want to seriously get a dane... my advice is that you rent a drooling goat for two weeks and let it live in your house, then make your decision. People who want danes without doing their research wind up giving their dogs away, because they have not counted the cost in raising, feeding, and picking up massive mounds of poop!

(note to parents when your kids use the line "we'll clean up after it... we promise!" Answer them by saying... "well Johnny, do you have a Utility Bobcat with a backhoe?... no?... then no great dane!!")

Trust me... this answer will save you.

For Christmas, one of my daughters gave Madison a peanutbutter flavored bone that was the size of a average mans femur bone... which she consumed in two hours. It was scary and wrong on multiple levels... one, watching my dog gnaw down a bone the size of my thigh, and two... who the heck makes peanutbutter-flavored bones? The worst was the canine-gas-immissions (aka, "doggy-farts") which followed. Think about this... peanutbutter-bone-smelling-dog-farts for Christmas. I tried to mask the smell with some Illuminations Holiday-scented candles... not a chance! Now I have peanutbutter-bone-dog-farts... with a hint of christmasy-pine. As I'm evacuating the house I'm wondering what poisonous-warfare-gasses were banned after WWI that are listed in the articles of the Geneva Convention. I think will we have a new submission to add.